TEENAGERS AND LOVE

Love teaches us self-respect as well as respect for others. Love is one of the most fulfilling things we can have in our lives.Loving and being loved integrates richness to our lives.Love helps us feel important, understood, and secure.But each kind of love has its own distinctive feel. The kind of love we feel for a parent is different from our love for a baby brother or best friend. And the kind of love we feel in romantic relationships is its own unique type of love.Our ability to feel romantic love develops during adolescence.

In our teens, relationships are mostly about having fun. Dating can seem like a great way to have someone to go places with and do things with. Dating can also be a way to fit in. If our friends are all dating someone, we might put pressure on ourselves to find a boyfriend or girlfriend too.

In our late teens, though, relationships are less about going out to have fun and fitting in. Closeness, sharing, and confiding become more important to both guys and girls. By the time they reach their twenties, most girls and guys value support, closeness, and communication, as well as passion. This is the time when people start thinking about finding someone they can commit to in the long run — a love that will last.

Teens all over the world notice passionate feelings of attraction. Even in cultures where people are not allowed to act on or express these feelings, they’re still there. It’s a natural part of growing up to develop romantic feelings and sexual attractions to others. These new feelings can be exciting or even confusing at first. Attraction is the “chemistry” part of love. It’s all about the physical — even sexual — interest that two people have in each other. Attraction is responsible for the desire we feel to kiss and hold the object of our affection. Attraction is also what’s behind the flushed, nervous-but-excited way we feel when that person is near. Closeness is the bond that develops when we share thoughts and feelings that we don’t share with anyone else. When you have this feeling of closeness with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you feel supported, cared for, understood, and accepted for who you are. Trust is a big part of this. Commitment is the promise or decision to stick by the other person through the ups and downs of the relationship.

Teenagers are highly emotional creatures to begin with but when hormones swirl it can be confusing to really understand what they are feeling.

We can help our teens give appropriate names to their emotions by teaching them the difference between love, lust, and infatuation. Falling in love is an emotional upheaval at any age, but for adolescents the feelings are likely to be even more difficult to manage.

Teenage bodies and brains are maturing at a rate not experienced since infancy.The adolescent brain matures more quickly than others, leading to potential mismatches between physical, emotional development.

Hormonal changes, triggered by brain and body developments, are strongly implicated in the intense feelings of sexual attraction and falling in love.

Testosterone and oestrogen – male and female sex hormones – are associated with heightened sexual urges, while the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are implicated in attachment and bonding. During puberty, the volume of these circulating sex hormones in the body rises dramatically. In girls, the ovaries increase their production of oestrogen sixfold and in boys, the testes produce 20 times the amount of testosterone.

Both sexes have male and female hormones circulating in the bloodstream, but during adolescence a boy’s testosterone level becomes 20 to 60 per cent higher than that of a girl, while her oestrogen level becomes 20 to 30 per cent higher than his. These hormones have strong effects on mood and libido.

Young people are hormonally primed toward being sexually attracted to others but, especially in early adolescence, they are not used to the feelings associated with the rapid increases and fluctuations in their hormone levels. High concentrations of certain hormones for one’s age, or rapid fluctuations of hormone levels may trigger more negative moods and greater mood variability Emotions associated with being ‘in love’ or ‘in lust’ are likely to be confused and confusing, even overwhelming for some.

Falling in love takes some getting used to, all those different emotions, mood swings, needs and desires. Nevertheless, through their romantic relationships, adolescents have the potential for psychological growth as they learn about themselves and other people, gain experience in how to manage these feelings and develop the skills of intimacy. They also face new risks and challenges.

On the downside, romantic relationships can sometimes lead to unhealthy outcomes. Young people can become too exclusive when they pair up, cutting themselves off from friendship and support networks in ways that do not advance optimal development.

Adolescents can be exposed to abusive and violent interactions or unwanted or coerced sexual activity within their romantic relationships.These days, aggression and bullying also occur online,partners share private photos or information on social media, causing embarrassment, humiliation or worse to the victim. 

When a relationship ends, people really need support. Losing a first love isn’t something we’ve been emotionally prepared to cope with. It can help to have close friends and family members to lean on. Unfortunately, lots of people often adults expect younger people to bounce back and just get over it.

If your heart is broken, find someone you can talk to who really understands the pain you’re going through.Break-ups are a very common feature of adolescent romantic relationships, some of which last only a few weeks. The impact of splitting up may not be particularly severe or long-lasting, especially in the case of short-term liaisons. Nevertheless, some teenagers are more vulnerable than others and their impact can vary from person to person.

Losing love can be painful for anyone. But if it’s your first real love and the relationship ends before you want it to, feelings of loss can seem overwhelming. Like the feelings of passion early in the relationship, the newness and rawness of grief and loss can be intense and devastating.

Young people move on when their relationships are not fulfilling.Over time, and through talking with others, including parents, peers and partners, adolescents can develop cognitive frameworks for better understanding the nature of intimate relationships and learn to cope with their ups and downs.

Love is delicate. It needs to be cared for and nurtured if it is to last through time. Just like friendships, relationships can fail if they are not given enough time and attention. This is one reason why some couples might not last — perhaps someone is so busy with school, extracurriculars, and work that he or she has less time for a relationship. Or maybe a relationship ends when people graduate and go to separate colleges or take different career paths. For some teens, a couple may grow apart because the things that are important to them change as they mature. Or maybe each person wants different things out of the relationship. Sometimes both people realize the relationship has reached its end; sometimes one person feels this way when the other does not.

With age and maturity come more realistic expectations and, hopefully, stronger capacities to make discerning partner choices, communicate and negotiate with partners and recover from relationship set backs and break ups.

Early sex education, mechanics of sex and teaching mutual respect, decision-making and the meaning of consent helps young people to resist relationship bullying and sexual coercion.

In today’s world, cyber safety is a key issue for all of us, but especially young people. Parental monitoring of online activity, especially among children and younger teenagers, may be advisable, and this requires that parents too become educated in new media. While adolescents need their privacy, it is important for parents to be watchful for warning signs of obsessive and secretive internet use. The emotions of falling in love can lead teenagers into unwise activity. The problem with the internet is that sexts and social media posts can come back to haunt them well after a relationship is over.

Watchful, kindly and respectful parenting, strong friendship networks and relationship-oriented sex education can all play their part in helping adolescents enjoy their romantic adventures and learn from them.

AN INTELLIGENT, A WEALTHY OR A BEAUTIFUL WIFE ?

We humans are prone to beautiful things in our daily life.We keep the rarest and the most beautiful birds in our canary.We choose the most beautiful dogs or cats or other animals as our pets.We buy attractive clothes.We build beautiful houses.But when it comes to our life companion one must consider other things too. A beautiful wife is a temporary focus of people’s attention and it is not safe to depend upon it as a guiding factor for choosing your life partner completely.

An educated and intelligent wife possess a light which can never be put out.Intelligence is an invaluable possession and is much better than wealth or beauty. It is immortal and is passed from one generation to another.

A wife has to be a mother .An educated mother is the best and most effective teacher.Therefore she is an asset not only to herself or to her husband but to the family and nation too.

A wealthy wife can at most be useful to her husband but not of any service to the nation,whereas an educated wife will leave behind the best legacy, a well educated family.Do not let the case of a couple of men who won fame through the wealth and influence of their wives ,lure you.The private life of these men cannot have been happy.Wealth can only be accumulated only by intelligence and hard work.

Marriage is a sacred bond which cannot be confused with lust.Physical enjoyment is not the only thing essential for successful marriage. One needs a companion with whome he can share his weals and woes,to make family life happy and successful. For that ,harmony of ideas is more essential so only an intelligent wife can know the like and dislikes of her husband. She can use her intelligence to solve problems of life in critical situations.

Our history depicts that beauty has been the cause of so many battles.Ravana had to loose his life as well as his kingdom for his infatuation for Sita.

According to my notions ,we should choose an intelligent woman for a wife.Marriage was introduced for setting up a new family for which a happy home is essential and for happiness one requires intelligence.Now days struggle for living is becoming hard but if your wife is intelligent and educated she can take up a job and help you in supplementing the family income.An intelligent wife can also help you in your profession, may it be of business, teaching by her intuitive advice.Intelligence along with education is what I would prefer while choosing my life partner.

INTELLIGENCE IS A VIRTUE WHICH NO THIEF CAN STEAL. INTELLIGENCE IS IMMORTAL

Aadhaar in India

Aadhaar is a verifiable 12-digit identification number issued by the Unique Identification Authority of India (UIDAI) to the Residents of India for free of cost.

DOES NOT CONFIRMS YOUR CITIZENSHIP The Aadhaar number on its own does NOT provide citizenship. It is just a unique number based on your biometric data.

IS IT MANDATORY TO GET AADHAAR ? Any individual, irrespective of age and gender, who is a resident of India, may voluntarily enrol to obtain Aadhaar number.It is not mandatory to enrol for Aadhar.Aadhar was primarily introduced for direct transfer of subsidies into the citizens bank accounts. But now the government has widened the scope of Aadhar. Now, there are many compulsions to link Aadhar to Bank Account, link Aadhar to Mobile Number, link Aadhar to PAN etc.Aadhar equips the holder to avail certain services offered by the government. If the resident wishes to avail those services, he should register for the Aadhar. Otherwise, he can opt-out of Aadhaar.

SEX EDUCATION

Sex education plays a very important role in today’s epoch.This education is far more than just sex ,its about maintaining healthy relations,respecting each others body, nurturing good values regarding relationships and much more.

In our country when the information is good it is not always delivered when it is needed because we often feel embarrassed when we talk on such topics.This include our schools too and I don’t think even our parents would openly talk with us on such topics. But if we take this topic seriously we can change the mindset of our future generations.
Giving right knowledge on sex will make our students become more well-practiced in thinking about caring for one another, they’ll be less likely to commit and be less vulnerable to sexual violence. And they’ll be better prepared to engage in and support one another in relationships,
the notion of care for others can enhance wellbeing and pave the way for healthy intimacy in the future. It can prevent or counter gender stereotyping and bias. And it could minimize instances of sexual harassment and assault in middle and high school , stalking to unwanted touching and nonconsensual sex. But in India we aren’t considering this type of education as vital because  we still think like old times and dare not to talk openly.

Sadly, many teenagers are getting their information about sex from their peers, pornographic material and from their seniors. Teenagers may end up with several wrong ideas about sex,about the opposite gender and their approach to sex.

Sex education in school can clear up many notions about sex and its effects, but only if the subject is approached in an interactive, clinical manner. Teenagers have many questions but nobody to ask – most do not want to talk to their parents about it, and they hardly receive any useful inputs from friends. Therefore, sex education for teenagers becomes an essential activity.

IS SEX EDUCATION EFFECTIVE IN INDIA ?
India has the largest adolescent population. Sexual health is not openly discussed due to cultural and traditional norms in society. Incorrect information has the potential to create misunderstanding in the youth making them less likely to adopt healthy practices.
Public discussion of topics of a sexual nature are widely considered as taboo in the Indian society.

ROLE OF PARENTS
Parents play a critical role in providing sex education . All kids learn about topics related to their secret body parts, sexual health and relationships mainly from their friends, internet and other sources. Make sure they learn it from you first. When they hear it from you,they know your values and experiences and that makes a lot of difference. Talk with your kids openly, honestly and often.Both boys and girls need to know the basics. When we talk with our children, we can help them learn what to expect as they are growing up so they won’t be scared or surprised by the changes they’ll go through.

TEACHING A CHILD AT EARLY AGE
Start teaching your kid at an early age.Use your own methods .Use the proper names for genitals. Teach your child about good and bad touch.
Children at this point of development may not fully understand key messages, but sharing with them lets your child know that you love and accept them. If you talk about genitals without shame, your child will learn to feel good about all parts of their body and others body .Understanding and modeling consent can help your child be safe and have healthier relationships in the future.

WHEN THEY BEGIN TO GROW
As your child’s gender identity develops, encourage them to respect themselves and others.Let them know they can talk to you or other trusted adults about anything.Teach them about appropriate touch and how to say no to unwanted touch.Be ready to give a simple description of where babies come from. Try to teach them that people have lots of body parts in common and that these body parts can look different on different people. All bodies are special and they must be respected.When you will inculcate these kind of thoughts in your child’s mind they would never go wrong in future.

SPREADING POSITIVITY IN THEIR MIND
Provide positive messages about children’s and adults’ bodies. End with messages that all bodies are different, and all bodies are wonderful so we must respect all genders and their bodies.

PUBERTY Everyone goes through changes when they start growing from a little person to a big person – that’s called ‘puberty.’ Puberty is a normal, exciting part of growing up. People go through puberty at different times, and that’s normal, too.”

PUBERTY IN GIRLS Puberty in girls usually starts between ages 9 and 11. The first signs of breast, called “buds,” start to form under the nipple. They may be itchy, which is normal.

It’s common for breasts to be of different sizes and grow at different rates. So, it’s normal if one bud appears larger than the other. The darker area around the nipple will also expand.

In addition, the uterus begins to get larger, and small amounts of pubic hair start growing on the lips of the vagina.

PUBERTY IN BOYS In boys, puberty usually starts around age 11. The testicles and skin around the testicles begin to get bigger. Also, early stages of pubic hair forms on the base of the penis.

Puberty can be challenging for kids and parents. In addition to causing many physical changes, hormones are also causing emotional changes. You may notice your child is moody or behaving differently.

It’s important to react with patience and understanding. Your child may be feeling insecure about their changing body, including their acne.

Talk about these changes and reassure your child it’s a normal part of maturing. If something is particularly troubling, talk to your child’s doctor as well.

Many parents and caregivers are concerned if they talk about sex or anything else related to sexuality that it will encourage their children to be interested in and have sex earlier than they would have otherwise.But in my views when parents talk with their kids about sexuality, their kids make better decisions around sex and relationships.

TEACHING THEM ALL ABOUT HEALTHY AND SEXUAL RELATIONS. Discuss and reinforce the benefits of delaying sexual activity.

India’s population is increasing at an alarming rate so teach them to promote birth control as it will help to control the exploding population. Give them proper knowledge on STD prevention to help them reduce risk and protect their health if and when they become sexually active.

Encourage your child to evaluate their relationships. Reinforce that healthy relationships are built on trust and equal power.Ensure that they know how to say “no.” Explain what mutual consent means and why it is important. And teach them not to force any one .

Share where they can access sexual and reproductive health care services in your community.

AVOIDING STDs USING PROTECTION The only effective way of avoiding an STD or avoid getting pregnant when you don’t want to be is by not having unprotected, vaginal, oral or anal sex. If you do have sex, using internal or external condoms can really help reduce your risk of getting an infection and using birth control can reduce your risk of getting pregnant.

DON’T LET TECHNOLOGY OVERRULE YOUR PRIVACY Technology and social media are fun, great ways of being able to communicate and share things with other people. It’s never okay, though, to forward private texts or photos to other people without someone’s permission. If you send partly or fully naked photos of yourself to someone even a romantic partner you may have broken the law. And you may have opened the other person to breaking the law because they have possession of those photos.

MUTUAL CONSENT IS VERY IMPORTANT You should never do anything sexual with another person you don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter if you’ve already done it before, even with that person. You should never force or pressure another person into doing something sexual they don’t want to do. If they are hesitant, assume they really don’t want to, and stop. And remember, you can only give consent if you and the other person are sober and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

SAFER SEX
Talk about safer sex practices with your kids in any way you feel comfortable. It’s one of the most important step you can take as a responsible citizen of India.
Vaginal, anal or oral sex without protection may lead to sexually transmitted diseases. Teens don’t always think oral sex counts as “sex,” and they don’t know that they can catch an STD that way.

Most people actually don’t have any symptoms when they have an STD, so they don’t even know they have one. But they can still spread them to other people and cause problems.So it’s better to get yourself diagnosed.

MASTURBATION It’s totally normal for teens to masturbate. Masturbation is safe, pleasurable, can reduce stress or period-related cramps and has no bad side effects. It’s also the safest sex there is.  There’s no need to be alarmed if you find out your teen is masturbating. Masturbating can satisfy sexual feeling and help teens get to know their own bodies.

Teens hear lots of myths about masturbation — that only guys do it, or that everybody does it so if they don’t do it that means they’re weird. The truth is that people of all genders masturbate, but not everybody does it. It’s normal if you do it, and it’s normal and OK if you don’t.  Letting your teens know these facts can help them to deal with the myths they may hear.  

RESPECT YOUR KIDS PRIVACY During adolescence, teens tend to desire more privacy and feel more self-conscious about their bodies. Whether they masturbate or not, your teen is probably going to want more privacy than they did when they were younger. So let them keep their bedroom door closed if they want and knock before you go into their room.

THERE IS A LOT OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PORN SEX AND REAL LIFE SEX. Pornography or sexually explicit pictures and videos are easy to find. In fact, many children and teens first see porn accidentally when they are looking for something else online. It’s very likely your teen has seen some porn on the internet — and some teens are watching it regularly.

Most young people who look at pornography do so out of curiosity about other people’s bodies and about sex. But porn can lead to unrealistic expectations. So you must try to tell your child that porn sex isn’t like real sex.Their bodies are cosmetically, and often surgically or hormonally, enhanced. The kinds of sex that people have in porn vedios is completely different from the sex in real life and the amount of time it takes for people to get excited and that they stay excited in porn is usually completely unrealistic.

Another example of negative messages in pornography is the lack of communication between actors which is always a must in real-life sex. And the actors in pornography don’t usually appear to use birth control or condoms.

VALUES MATTER Some areas are controversial, like premarital sex and abortion, but there’s almost universal agreement on the following values: Sexual exploitation of children is wrong. Sex should always be consensual. Knowledge and open communication are good, ignorance and dishonesty are bad. Sex is best in a relationship that combines passion, intimacy, and commitment.

WHY IS THIS EDUCATION IMPORTANT IN INDIA Many young men and women are delaying their marriages to pursue their careers, a result of rising education levels. However, most Indian households are conservative and prohibit discussions about sex. In rural areas and urban slums, girls are often married early and they don’t go into marriage equipped with any knowledge of sex. Adolescent fertility usually occurs within marriage because girls are encouraged to reproduce as early as they can after they are married. Therefore, 36% of children and 64% of adolescents are pregnant or already mothers.Conversely, pregnancy outside of wedlock carries severe social stigma in India. Medical termination of pregnancy  is available to few and the attitude of the providers towards such women is not amicable. As a result, they may attempt unsafe abortions or abandon the child. Such stigmatised women may also commit suicide.

Premarital sex has risen in India, and a large proportion of it is unprotected. Additionally, married men often engage in risky behavior by having unprotected sex with multiple partners, which can include commercial sex workers. Finally, the cultural patriarchal structure in India makes it unlikely that women will be able to ensure that their husbands are monogamous.This makes young Indians vulnerable to teenage pregnancy  and STDs. Studies have found that lower educated groups are especially vulnerable to STDs due to lack of knowledge and prevalence of misconceptions.

Sex education will also help to lower down the no. Of growing rape cases in India. I hope people will understand the need of sex education and start educating their children.Right education starts from Parents itself and if you will help your kids with the right knowledge and information they will never ever go wrong.Spend enough time everyday to talk to your kid even if you have tight schedules. Learn from them about their concerns or doubts about any happenings in and out of school. Make sure that they are not worried about any thoughts or scary things and give them moral support for the problems they are facing.

Last but not the least, it is important to be a good friend of your kid. Give them a space to share anything that comes to their mind and express their true feelings. Give them assurance that you would offer a helping hand despite what all comes their way. This would boost their confidence level and help them to excel and perform better in life.

DEFEATING DEPRESSION

What people never understand is that depression isn’t about the outside; it’s about the inside.

Depression is more than feeling sad
It is something that drives us mad
We loose interest in all the things
That our daily life and family brings

Depression is caused due to lack of social support
But I will always write rhymes to abort
This kind of monstrous thing
And be your saviour king

It completely destroys ones heart
But I have a special piece of art
The art of writing people’s pain
And telling them how to regain

I have experience in dealing with this pain
Cz my mom suffered a depressed blain
But together we won her battle of depressed phase
And spread positive vibes and rays

Seeing all her scars was very hard
But it helped me to discover ways to discard
All the negative things from her life
Life that was full of depressed strife

She used to hide the hurt and all the pain
But couldn’t hide the tears that fell like rain
Her skin felt like fire,she used to burn within
The calm on her face was an ongoing sin

It’s hard to explain
How people outside behaved inhumane
So she kept to herself
Until she realized that she needed help

She visited doctors well trained
But she didn’t recovered and was still strained
They just put her to some antidepressants
But still she was in pain
And all efforts by doctors were in vain

So then I tried all my ways
To bring back those happy days
I kept her busy in her favourite things
This is how she was born again with wider wings

You can go through my last poem on this
And know ways that brought bliss
Depression is like darkest place one travels alone
It is a solo journey filled with struggles and groans

But together we can fight
Every darkest single second and night
You can’t run ,nor can you hide
But if you conquer the beast you will survive
I am always there for people so alone
People who are depression prone

I will not leave you here all alone
Through my poems and stories I will take you back home
Back to old and happy days
When life was full of happy rays

Let us fight together and take a stand
Against this demon by holding each others hand
Because I want you people to win
And to ignite a new light within
                            By-Manal pathania

I tried my best to explain everything in my art and I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that……..looking forward to hear from you all.

Feelings of a right man


Healthy relationships usually begin with mutual interest and attraction that grows over time. This is the complete opposite of unhealthy relationships, which usually start out with a grand light show that quickly simmers into ash. If you can internalize this, it will change the way you date forever. So here I will discuss in my style that what goes inside a true man’s mind about his woman.

I want to exhale your past
I don’t want your pain to aghast
I just want to inhale your presence
Even in your absence

I want to take opportunity to learn you
And that’s 101 percent true
I want to do things that would make you smile
And things that would beguile

I want to sneak up from behind you
And would never like to adieu
Grab you by waistline and guide you back towards me
And be your love devotee

I am just trying to get inside your mind
And am never gonna stab you from behind
Because you are everything to me
And I promise that I will never flee

I love when you wear new dresses
And drive away all my stresses
I pay every attention from your hairs to your nails
Too busy watching you that I even forget my mails

I love the way you bring out colors in your eyes
Eyes that kill when they rise
I just want to let you know how beautiful you are
And that I love your each and every scar

I’ll be all you’ll ever need
And will be there in your every deed
Through the good times and the bad
Through the happy times and the sad

Even if sometimes I ever make you sad
I will still be the best friend you always had
I will love you in all your pains
Till my last remains
Till my last remains

Thank you all and if you really liked it do follow ,share and like.

RICH AND POOR

Don’t judge by appearance, a rich heart may be under a poor coat.

Some are born poor
But by heart they are grandeur
Some are born rich
Behind back they always snitch

No one is rich here
Because no one actually care
What people are going through
And what in life they bear

People who can give
Generally prefer to sieve
They don’t want to help
For money they always yelp

A kid is born with no tag
We are the one to give them a flag
To distinguish them from others
Not letting them live like brothers

God gave us birth
We will die on this earth
With nothing in hand
We’ll merge in sand
We’ll merge in sand