One day dowry came
With a lot of blame
Cause i didn’t liked things
So my heart pinged
My wife is my dowry
And I love her as Lowry
Mom and dad don’t even think
That I love these costly things
Dowry is just an illusion
That gets everyone in confusion
Dowry is a bad word
With alot of godly curse
To the people who put pressure
U are going to get crushed in a thresher
To the people who torture
U will be hit by a scorcher
Dowry dowry just teach humans a lesson
That you must not work like a caisson
O…..of the first order
W….who cannot withstand on their own feet
R…..rely on their wife’s riches
Be a man not a beggar to ask dowry.
Why is the dowry system still a threatening reality? Why do we value a woman’s life around the amount of gold she brings in dowry? Questions like these need to be raised again and again.
Taking or giving dowry has been criminalized by law. But, it is still a significant part of Indian marriage and is openly defying laws and failing women empowerment.
The brutal reality of the dowry system is not the story of rural areas only. Even the educated family sitting in metropolitan cities like Delhi and Bangalore is harassing a woman for not bringing enough gold or money.Sometimes I even hear about cases of IAS officers which is heartbreaking .
“Any young man, who makes dowry a condition to marriage, discredits his education and his country and dishonours womanhood.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Dowry system makes it necessary for a bride’s family to give dowry in cash or kind to the groom’s family as a pre-condition for marriage. After marriage, some families demand more dowry and when it is not fulfilled- either because of the inability of the bride’s family or the denial of the bride herself, the groom and his family abuse and kill the bride. In one of the cases reported in Bengaluru in January 2020, a few weeks after marriage, a husband demanded cash despite receiving 1kg gold in dowry as per his demands. When the extra demand was denied, he burnt his wife.
According to my views you have your whole life ahead of you. Be smart, Study hard and be independent.You must rely on yourself. No matter what else people may steal from you, they will never be able to take away your knowledge. The world is changing. You must make your own life outside this home.
Why The Dowry System Is Still Prevalent?
We are in 2020. Dowry system was abolished in 1961 in India. The reason for the prevalence of this custom is the patriarchal society that values men over women. In India boys have a rate card in many societies. This is the unofficial price the boy is worth. And that worth is measured by the amount of dowry a boy will get upon marriage. The stronghold of the gender inequality in Indian society makes a bride’s family feel obliged to meet the dowry demands of the man who has ‘agreed’ to take care of the daughter. The second major reason is that the dowry system is too deeply rooted in the Indian culture that it is seen as normal and unchangeable.
Even today, if people are reminded that dowry is a crime, they ignore it as an alternate reality which cannot change the age-old customs. Many educated families practice it, willingly or unwillingly, to avoid being criticized for not following the customs. After all who will dare to change the traditions? The third and most important reason is the dominance of the institution of marriage. A woman’s marriage is of the paramount importance in Indian families. If a woman’s marriage requires dowry in return of her secured married life which is a challenge in the world that is unsafe and discriminatory for women, it is never seen as a crime.
Dowry deaths are a result of this stagnancy in the traditions and cultures. Groom’s families take advantage of the stronghold of the dowry system which will ultimately bring them wealth. Often they ‘rightfully’ abandon or abuse the woman for dowry because she and her family did not fulfil their duty. This is a harsh reality that still haunts the lives of the women who are moving ahead towards a respectable, empowered and independent future. This system is the major reason why daughters are considered as a burden for the families. Consequently, families either keep the wealth aside for the daughter’s dowry rather than investing in her education or kill her before birth to get rid of the burden forever.Only our thinking can save these precious lives and bring about a major change in this world full of dowry demanding creatures.
How Young Women can Bring A Change?
Girls must understand that a marriage grounded on the exchange of dowry is only a business deal. She must believe that marriage only needs love and respect.If a boy cannot marry her without her money, he doesn’t deserve her.She is more capable to excel in her life with her own capabilities.She should convince her family to not seek dowry for her brother’s marriage.They should tell them not to seek dowry because they don’t need money to keep someone else’s girl. If the boy considers her as his another half then dowry is almost negligible in front of that.
Girls must bring a change in the prevalence of the dowry system by being self-dependent and refusing to marry anyone who needs money to marry them.
यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते रमन्ते तत्र देवताः ।
यत्रैतास्तु न पूज्यन्ते सर्वास्तत्राफलाः क्रियाः ॥ Which means -The divine are extremely happy where women are respected ;where they are not, all actions are fruitless.
Dowry system gets an open passage in the society despite being a crime because no one dares to take legal action against the families. There is a need of organizing more workshops and discussions on this issue so that its seriousness is realized.
According to recent reports on an average, every hour a woman succumbs to dowry deaths in India. No matter how many qualifications a woman earns, her identity and the right to live is decided according to the kilograms of gold, cash,luxury cars and appliances she brings in dowry for her in-laws.I don’t know why people show off something that is not even their’s in weddings.If you are reading this article and consider my views right enough, kindly share it widely so we can push for conversations that question this and helps us all change the system. It’s going change if we all stand together.
I request you all to share your views on this serious issue and suggest possible ways to eradicate this evil system from our society.